


There in the rain

by taurussieben



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: AU without the king of light business, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Developing Relationship, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Injuries, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-11-12 00:17:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18000173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taurussieben/pseuds/taurussieben
Summary: The first time Noctis Lucis Caelum laid his eyes on Sir Nyx Ulric, he knew nothing about the man before him. Afterward, he was still not sure why he saw him.





	1. Noctis

**Author's Note:**

> Well, this took longer to edit than to write. Whoo me. After this idea sparked in my mind, it would not leave me alone until it was written, now I can rest, or work on other stuff. I'm eternally grateful to [cryptidkickflip](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cryptidkickflip) for beta'ing and leaving comments along the way, you are a star <3\. 
> 
> This is a world where the crystal and the warp magic exist but not the scourge of the star, so no funny business. 
> 
> And off you go to read.

The first time Noctis Lucis Caelum laid his eyes on Sir Nyx Ulric, he knew nothing about the man before him.

To mark the occasion of his 23rd birthday, Noctis’ father King Regis held an award ceremony in honor of the accomplishments of the Glaives and Crownsguards who had been on a crucial border mission for the last four years.

Afterward, he was still not sure why he _saw him_.

Sir Ulric was not the only Glaive on that day who was awarded the Insomnia star for Bravery. But he was the only one whose name got a reaction out of the audience. As Captain Drautos’ voice called “Sir Nyx Ulric” through the throne room, a hush befell the gathered. And Ulric himself stepped forward in one smooth stride, bowing before his king and before the prince, before straightening up and staring right ahead. Noctis noticed his father smiling as he pinned the star on the left side of the soldier’s chest. There were other stars already present, shimmering in the overhead lights. Noctis also recognized the Crystal Medal to prove that Ulric could wield the crystal’s power with a talent not many possessed. With surprise, he recognized the Black Crown pinned between Ulric’s crest of arms that was bestowed on him when he had been knighted and three different metallic daggers that spoke of hard battles fought and won. The Black Crown was unique, a different kind of special from all the other medals. It held the favor of the king and by extension the family of Lucis Caelum. For generations had there been no crown holder.

_Fire and darkness. Hands and pain. Air. A sudden memory, gone before he could claim it._

Maybe this was what made him see, or maybe it was the way Sir Ulric just stood there, in his gaze a strange emptiness, like he didn’t even care. Seeing the medals already pinned on his coat, he maybe didn’t. The words his father spoke to Ulric were too silent to understand. There was no visible change in the Glaive’s expression, but his king looked thoughtful. Ulric bowed and returned to the fold of his comrades who squeezed his shoulders and clapped him on the back. Noctis saw a faint smile, still, Sir Ulric appeared lonely, detached from them. Noctis turned to his father who was watching the Glaive with furrowed brows and a downturn to his mouth. There was something strange about the whole exchange that piqued Noctis interest.

 

* * *

 

 The second time Noctis saw him, he saw something unexpected.

Deep at night he had escaped Ignis and his infamous lessons in favor of the outside world and got onto a rampage through the local Arcades with Prompto right at his heels. When they left the last one, he saw him in the crowd. It took Noctis a moment to really recognize Ulric, clad in fairly regular clothes and not his Glaive gear. He looked so different and yet the same. Sure, like he belonged. His head bobbing up over the crowd, which closed around him like the ocean waves. Noctis followed, pulled along by an invisible string.

He had the presence to say goodbye to Prompto before falling after Ulric. It was a long chase through the endless streets of Insomnia. At more than one occasion, he was sure Ulric knew that he was followed, a twist in his head, a shift of the shoulder out of the usual smooth stride. He was a Glaive, a knight, a soldier, an agent of the king. He must know, but Uric never stopped, never looked behind him, never slowed his pace. He kept going.

The building he disappeared into was unassuming if not for the steady beat that spilled out on the streets every time the door was opened. One of the many underground clubs that Ignis always warned him about. Full of deprivation and rough characters that would gladly get their hands on the Prince of Insomnia. Undecided, Noctis swayed from one foot to the other. Looking the street up and down and back to the building. He wanted to inside, follow, but it also filled him with trepidation. God, he was 23 and too angsty to enter a club. Sudden steps behind him spurred him into action. With fast steps was he across the street and opened the dark door. Instantly the beat settled into his bones and he was surrounded by people. A grim-looking security gave him a once over, but let him pass. Soon he was tossed around like a buoy out in the stormy waters on the other side of Insomnia, no clue where he was going and who was pressing into him for a second, but it made him feel hot and heady.

The air was filled with smoke, the smell of sweet cocktails and spilled beer and that special something that spoke of sex and passion. He could feel a blush forming on his cheeks. He was no stranger to sex per se, but this was different, uninhibited. After a few minutes, his gaze found Ulric again, pressed against another body, devouring him with his mouth and his hands. It made Noctis go hot and cold at the same time. He looked away and rescued himself into a darker corner, a small hallway that led down to the toilets on one side and deeper into the building on the other. The beat still played inside him, vibrating his very being in the same rhythm.

Still contemplating on what to do a hand suddenly clamped down on his upper arm squeezing hard, a body pressed him back against the wall, hard muscles and the unmistakable sign of arousal thrust into his belly, and a rough voice whispered close to his ear.

“What are you doing here, little prince?”

Noctis swallowed panic fast closing in. The voice withdrew, and Noctis got a good look at the man before him. Ulric! The bastard had seen him, known he was here.

“I-” But what could he say? What secret could he spill? He did not really know himself, why he had come. Ulric’s gaze was harsh, there was nothing soft in it, only a small glint of mockery and cruelty. He was a soldier, fire forged, battle-hardened. One of the field agents with the highest seniority. He was only no leader because of his insubordination on occasion, and his blatant refusal to listen to authority nearly every time he was out in the field. All these things were crystal clear to Noctis in that very moment.

“Nyx, darling, already tired of me?” A breathy voice came from Ulric’s back. Noctis could feel the Glaive stiffen, and turn. It was impossible to see who was there, Noctis suspected it was the boy Ulric tried to eat just mere minutes before.

“No, sweet, get warmed up. I will be right with you.” Said the Glaive with a chuckle. He waited until the other was gone before he hauled Noctis forward into the other direction, deeper into the building and out a back door. His grip was like steel. Noctis could warp away, but he had nothing as focus, his weapons left behind. In the cold night air Ulric did not loosen his grip but fished an earpiece out of his jeans with his other hand and put it in. He tapped it once, twice, cursed, tapped it again and waited.

“Yes, I know how late it is.” He growled. That growl did things to Noctis he was so not ready to admit at that moment. Ulric furrowed his brows. “Crowe, damn it, I have a package at a wrong place, and I need it delivered back.” He listened again. “Just come and get it. Yes, where else would I be.” He sighed. “At the back. Thank you.”, he said with a trace of mockery, before tapping the piece again, loosening the grip on Noctis’ arm. Noctis felt pins and needles as the blood started circulating again.

They did not speak one word. Ulric leaned against the stone wall, right next to the door, his arms and legs crossed. His body language making it clear, closed off and unapproachable. Standing in the nearly dark alley, with no focus point Noctis lost his sense of time, the cold of the night seeping into him. A faint wind drifted through the alley opening and made him shiver every time, it was pushed in. In a gesture to preserve his body heat, he curled into himself, wrapping his arms around himself. Suddenly the chill was gone, Ulric had walked to the alley opening, blocking everything off, while he watched the street ahead, waiting for their ride. Noctis made to follow him, but a brief glance from the Glaive pinned him into place. Minutes later or hours, he could hear the faint rumble of a motorbike closing in fast. The sound cut off right in front of the alley. Ulric stepped out, into the dim light of the street lamps and made a hand gesture for him to come.

Another Glaive sat astride a beast of a motorbike, tucking of the helmet. Noctis had seen her around a few times. Her sheer presence had made it always impossible to overlook her. Crowe Altius was one of the few female glaives they had and the most badass one. Ulric pushed him forward to her, she just watched them both with a raised eyebrow. Embarrassment flooded him for some reason like he had disappointed them. He blinked it away. Crowe was holding another helmet in his direction, he took it with trembling fingers.

“Come, your highness, I will take you home.” There was no mockery in her voice, only exaggeration. She nodded to Ulric who turned and soon was swallowed by the darkness of the alley. Noctis looked after him for a few seconds, until fingers tipped onto his shoulders.

“I’m sorry.” He said as he turned, he was not quite sure why he was sorry, but he had the vague feeling, he needed to apologize. A soft glimmer in her eyes was the only answer Crowe gave him before she flipped the visor closed and made a motion for him to finally hop on. With a roar, the bike came to live under him, the vibrations of the vehicle so different from the music in the club. As they weaved through the deep night streets, along the glittering lights of the sleepless Insomnia, two things struck Noctis suddenly as odd.

First, as Ulric had moved around to speak to the other… person, he had done it, without stepping away from Noctis, keeping him hidden behind his back, so the other man had been unable to see clearly who Noctis was.  
And while the second may have been a coincidence. Crowe had known where they had been, Ulric had said so in the earpiece, but he had still wandered to the alley opening. Noctis was sure, he had done so, to keep the wind out as good as possible.

And while the Glaives had sworn to protect the king and his family, there was something silent in the gestures, something unspoken, that left Noctis so very confused.

 

* * *

  

The third time Noctis saw the Glaive, the soldier, behind the name.

It was when he was about to get kidnapped, right there in the light of the day. Without his weapons and Gladio already knocked out, they went after him, cornering him in a dead end street far away from the bustling crowd. Noctis was ready to fight them, even without his daggers, could hold his own, but the moment they got close and raised their arms to attack, he was surrounded.

Glittering blue figures stood between them before the real human shapes followed. Flowing Kingsglaive greatcoats with the colorful fluttering ribbons, drawn hood, the Glaive masks in place. One Glaive directly before him, two at his side. A broad back, an arm movement that diverted the attack. On a signal that Noctis did not catch, they laid into the attackers. Additional magic rained from the sky. As Noctis looked up, he saw Crowe on the building above him like the vengeance reborn. In seconds it was over, the kidnappers killed or secured. One Glaive looked after Gladio, making sure his friend was alright. Noctis turned around as he felt eyes on him. One of the other two Glaives, the broad back that had stood right before him, was looking over. Noctis blinked, and the Glaive was gone. There was a snort to his left, Crowe stood beside him, shaking her head. With gentle hands she looked him over, making sure nothing was amiss with the heir apparent.

“Was that Sir Ulric?”

Crowe nodded and watched him with hooded eyes. There was a tiny smile on her lips. “Come, let us get you home again, highness.”

He turned in the direction of Gladio. “And Gladio?” She looked over, where his friend was helped up who gave her an “Okay” sign.

She patted Noctis’ shoulder. “Will be alright.” Noctis was only able to nod, still feeling off balance from the whole last hour. Especially as he could not get silver eyes from behind the darkness of a hood out of his mind.

Hours later, standing at his apartment window and watching the people pass by, a question popped into this mind: How did they find him that fast?

 

* * *

  

The fourth time, Sir Ulric changed to Nyx in Noctis’ mind.

Usually, his warp training was held inside the Citadel, in the training rooms he was mostly occupying with Gladio. His father helped on occasion, his aging body still surprisingly agile. That day, he was scheduled to train with the Glaives, getting used to mock fights and warping alongside multiple enemies. As he arrived, he heard laughter, belly deep and the crystal sound of multiple warps being done. He crossed the Kingsglaive HQ to find the open arena, and he saw Sir Ulric dancing in it. Warping, falling, warping, trying to catch the sky, before plunking deep down to the earth again and catching himself at the last possible point. Followed by a whooping scream and joyful laughter.

“Please never do that. I’m not sure my frail heart could take it.” Noctis startled as he saw his father standing beside him.

“Father? What are you doing here?” The king’s smile was gentle. His eyes flickered briefly to him before he was tracing Sir Ulric again, who did not seem to slow down, but who must have been at it for quite some time. Noctis could see he was soaked through and the smell of warp magic at permeated the whole arena. “Father?” Regis made a humming sound like an answer. “Why is Sir Ulric wearing the Black Crown?” The twinkle in Regis’ eyes dimmed, and he suddenly looked much older than his years.

“Because I bestowed it to him, as he did the crown a favor that could never be repaid.” There was sadness in his voice.

“What-” But his question was cut off, as the spoken about appeared before them, bowing deeply.

“Your majesty, your highness.” The joy was gone from the voice, and what remained was the soldier of the crown.

“Sir Ulric.” His father inclined his head. “We have much to talk about.”

Sir Ulric bowed again. “As my king commands.” And was gone.

Regis chuckled and ruffled the hair of his son. “Be good, my son.” He turned to go, Clarus falling in step next to him.

For a few minutes, Noctis was alone, replaying the images of Ulric’s wild chase again and again in his mind eye. There was stillness now to his surroundings, a breath taken in before it was exhaled and everything changed. Ulric had been free, wild and endless.

Footsteps approached him, shattering the illusion. A Glaive was hurrying down the hall in his direction. Creeping forward as fast as he could on his crutches. He was breathless as he reached Noctis.

“I’m sorry for being late your highness, but I’m still underestimating how fast I’m really with these.”

Noctis smiled at him. “It’s quite alright, Libertus was it?” The other nodded. “I got to watch Sir Ulric on how it is done.”

There were a snort and a lazy smile. “Well, Nyx is something else.” He said it with the easiness of a longtime friend. It flowed right out of him, around Noctis, to the arena. Noctis looked over the place, on the other side he could suddenly see Crowe getting up, Luche standing in the shadows, Drautos walking away. Other Glaives hidden. They all had seen Nyx’ playing around, his joy, his stunts, had felt his magic seep into the area and their bones. He had connected them. Shown them and his king what they were, who they were. The Kingsglaives, his majesty soldiers. His crystal blue wind.

A hand patted him on the back. Libertus’ eyes were kind. There was also a challenge, daring him to say something. But Noctis was still too much in awe about what he had witnessed.

“Let’s get you down there, I will be your teacher for the next few weeks until I can return to active duty.”

 

* * *

  

The fifth time, the Nyx in his mind was transported to the outside world.

Escaping from his obligations yet again, after a week that made him nearly tear his hair out, Noctis slipped away into a seldom-used part of the Citadel. Creeping through the darkened hallways, sparsely illuminated by the rising moon, he found the balcony he was searching for and slipped out into the fresh night air. He was not prepared for the shadow sitting on the balustrade, swinging his feet over the abyss and the faint smell of smoke drifting over.

He came slowly closer, to not startle the other person. A chuckle followed him.

“Don’t fear, little prince, I heard you a mile away.” Naturally, it was Sir Ulric.

“Good evening, Sir Ulric.”

Another chuckle. “That is a heavy name.” Said Ulric. He did not move much. Occasionally raising his arm and taking a drag from the cigarette in his right hand. The glow of the amber, another light between all the lights around them. “Call me Nyx.”

Noctis swallowed. “Nyx.” It fell softly from his lips, it felt like he was summoning a ghost. The Glaive answered with a soft humming sound. As Noctis looked over, Nyx was still not looking at him, but he could see the bare hint of a smile on the half of his lips.

“What made you come here, little star?”

Noctis blushed at the name. He hoped the other could not see it in the darkness. “Escape.” He turned to face Insomnia. Tracing the endless rows of lights and the shadows they created. “What is the Hero of the Glaives doing here, tucked away in a corner of the shadows?” He countered.

Nyx was silent. He took another drag from the cigarette before turning over the balustrade in a fluid motion Noctis could only admire. The butt of the cigarette dropped to the floor of the balcony and was crushed under the heel of Nyx’ heavy boot. In one swift stride, he stood directly in front of Noctis. His steel eyes right in front of him.

“We are part of the shadows, little prince.” It was a reprimand, it made Noctis ears burn. Nyx raised a hand to flick against them. His eyes were not unkind. “Always remember that.” And with a touch that lingered on Noctis cheek, the Glaive warped away.

_Orange and blue in_ steady _interchange, flickering over each other. The same eyes. Heat. Heat. Heat. Coldness. A hand on his cheek. A mouth forming words. Gone._

 

* * *

  
The sixth time changed everything.

It was by accident. Noctis had entered the dimly lit bar without knowing that the Glaive frequented it as well, at least on this evening. He could have turned around, the moment he saw the man sitting at the bar smoking and drinking. Instead, there had been that pull again, moving him forward, making him unable to step away. As he sat down, he could see Nyx out of the corner of his eye. The Glaive was tracking his every move. There was a smirk in his gaze, a subtle upturn of his mouth, like Nyx knew something Noctis was not privy to.

“Drink with me, little prince.”

The hours flowed into each other. They fell into easy talk, about the Glaives, the warps, the crystal magic, Insomnia, the world. Noctis was fascinated by what lay beyond the massive walls, the open world. As Nyx spoke of the different people and traditions he had seen, found Noctis eyes the braids in Nyx’ hair, the different beads that were woven into them, the tattoos permanently etched into the skin.

In a comfortable lull between their words, just sipping their drinks, Noctis raised his hand and without thinking traced the arrow under the left eye of the other man. Nyx went completely still for a second, before slowly setting down the glass in his hand. Noctis' finger kept tracing from the jaw bow behind the ear to the braids. It was then that Nyx turned to face him fully, his hands resting on his thighs, his gaze unreadable. But Noctis was transfixed, raising his other hand, feeling with his fingertips the steady pulse of the other man, as he laid them on the heart line tattoo, wandering up to trace the ones on the shell of Nyx’ ear, further over the cheek, to the lips, dragging his fingers in a snail pace over them. Here they were captured in Nyx slightly trembling hands.

“What are you doing, little star?” The words were just loud enough to grace Noctis’ ears. He raised his gaze from his fingers and fell right into Nyx’ eyes. There was a gentle light that was barely masking a wild beast hidden in the depths. Everything about Nyx was screaming that he was ready to pounce. Barely held back by the last of his will power. And still, his fingers were gentle, the hold on Noctis just there. A storm poised to break loose.

Noctis had no answers he could formulate with words, they all escaped him. So he slowly moved forward and pressed his lips against the one of the Glaive. Just a short press of lips, a taste, a wish, a question, a plea. He moved back again, Nyx’ eyes following his every move, his every intake of breath, the twitch of his muscles. His hand shot up, taking Noctis’ face between his rough fingers and held him fast, secure, without any escape for him. The steel grey eyes were on him, burrowing deep. Searching for the truth. Noctis opened up, as much as he could, when he only knew half of what was happening here.

“Be sure, little prince, be very sure.”

“I’m sure.” He never heard his own voice so rough, so determinate. Nyx waited for another heartbeat before diving in, and Noctis could only hold on. This was no fumbling in the dark, away from prying eyes, no sweet summer boys kiss, no innocence. It was raging fire, the passion of a man who had looked death into the eyes and walked away laughing. This was Sir Nyx Ulric, a man who knew what he wanted. And Noctis could only surrender.

The night wore on in a whirlwind of feelings and emotion. And questions, endless questions from Nyx for every step along the way, accompanied with a slight sting, to bring him back from the heights of pleasure so he could consent. It left Noctis with a strange mix of feeling safe and being in free fall. The third time they came together, Nyx taking him with a steady pace and gentle hands, Noctis was lost in a haze of nearly too much, of just right and white noise.

The first light of the day brought him, a gentle hand on his back, a tiny smile and strong coffee. The kiss at the door left Noctis wanting. But there were no promises, no heartfelt declaration of feelings, no demands. Just the memory of a night.

 

* * *

   
The seventh time was unexpected.

After that night, Noctis was on edge. He did not see Nyx, did not speak to anyone about him or sought him out. He took the night and the feelings inside him and held them close to his heart. As the world turned around him, he found himself thinking about what he wanted. Who he wanted to be, what kind of person he wanted to step in front of Nyx again. As a friend, as a prince, as a lover?

He did steal away with another, but those eyes and kisses and those hands while clearly not the same, still did not invoke the same desires, the same kind of passion inside him. It left him cold.

Outside of the club, on the verge of calling Gladio and already accepting the scolding, he saw a familiar motorbike parked. Next to it stood Crowe with crossed arms and a deep scowl on her face. Noctis stepped slowly forward, another step and another until he sidled up right next to her.

Crowe flicked her eyes to him for a moment, before focusing back on the building in front of her. Before he could even ask about what was going on, the telltale noise of the king’s magic could be heard, and a bluish glint wandered from window to window.

“Shit.”

“Crowe?”

She turned to him, her hands suddenly on his shoulders, the gaze imploring. “Your Highness, promise me to stay here.”

“I promise.” She pressed a dagger into his hands and was gone.

For a moment there was nothing, the steady beat from the club, the faraway noise of a city that never slept. Then the ground shook, and somebody burst from the upper windows, going into free fall. Without thought Noctis reacted, using the dagger as focus, he warped up, catching the person, and instantly warped to a lower building to their left. They landed with just a bit of rolling around. Noctis sat up, trying to steady his hands again. He looked down in the smirking face of Nyx Ulric.

“Fancy meeting you here, little prince.” And Noctis did the only thing, he could do, he laughed. Hysterical. Until he saw the open wound on Nyx side. The Glaive followed his gaze, pressing his hand against it. “Just a scratch, your highness.” But it caused a weird feeling inside Noctis. A sudden double beat of his heart, a tremble along his spine, a hitch in his breath. Nyx’ eyes narrowed at him. But Crowe saved Noctis from the questions in the eyes of the other man.

“Could not stay put, why am I even surprised?” Noctis blinked up at her.

“Don’t hold it against him, he plucked me right out of the air,” Nyx said with an easy smile and a wink in Noctis direction. He could only shrug. Crowe shook her head and tapped her earpiece.

“We got them, we got one injured, extraction needed,” she looked around, “send a hellicarrier, we are on top the smaller building to the left.” She tapped out and kneeled in front of Nyx. She moved his hand to the side and after a tense second, looked into his eyes.

“Just a scratch, Crowe.” She looked a moment longer, then she shook her head.

“As you wish, Ulric.” A few seconds later the high pitch sound of a carrier cut through the air. Noctis could see it in the distance, fast approaching, the same time lights started to dance from below. He stepped away from the two Glaives and threw a curious glance over the balustrade. Vehicles had arrived, a mix of Crownsguard and Kingsglaives milling around, taking people into custody. Noctis saw Cor and Captain Drautos talking. In a sense of self-preservation, he dived down. It earned him a chuckle from Nyx, who was watching him through half closed eyes. He wanted to smile, but his gaze dropped from the eyes to Nyx’ hand and the blood that was still spreading around the fallen Glaive. His gaze snapped up, from there to Crowe, who had her hands out and the wisps of magic flowed out of her hands burying itself in the body before them. He could not move.

The carrier finally touched down, people sprinting out of it, talking fast with Crowe and Nyx. As they cleared and drifted away with Nyx in their hold, he found his gaze wandering along the floor. Blood remained, black in the absent light of the night. Crowe looked exhausted. She turned her head and blinked, to get her focus back, then she smiled at him, but it was thin and tired.

“Let us get you home, again, your highness.” Noctis raised his head and looked after the carrier.

“Where are they taking him?”

She followed his gaze, before giving him a look, that was more calculating than comforting. “Kingsglaive HQ, the medical staff there will know what to do.” Noctis nodded. Still, he could not move. Still frozen to that very spot.

“Will he survive?” There was so much blood on the stone. He hid his trembling hands behind his back. Tried to force calm into his voice.

He felt Crowe’s eyes on him, tracing every inch of his body, probably taking in all the signs he desperately tried to hide. When she answered, it was soft, if he fancied, there might also be understanding. “Be assured, your highness, he will.”

 

* * *

 

The eighth time was deliberate.

“What are you doing here, little prince?” Noctis turned his head at the voice, seeing grey eyes slowly blinking open. A small smile on lips he knew how they tasted.

“Making sure you did not die.”

“Y’all of narrow faith,” Nyx mumbled. Noctis hummed, he was projecting a calm, he did not feel inside. He had taken refuge in a window seat while he had waited. The memories of the night before, still replaying in his mind. He had taken them with him to his dreams. As he had laid awake unable to find peace, he had contacted Crowe, who thankfully had left him with her number after she had dropped him off yet again at his apartment.

A few minutes after he had sent the message, the intercom had rung. A disgruntled Ignis had taken the call and let her in. He threw one look at Noctis before retreating to his own rooms. Crowe stood in the door, they measured each other for a moment, before Crowe twitched her head slightly to the side, taking him along. Since then he had sat in this very room, alternated between watching Nyx rest and Insomnia shedding its nightgown to the day dress.

“Why were you there, little star?” He traced Nyx’ face, searching for meaning behind his words, but there was only openness, a wish to know.

Noctis shrugged slightly. He considered lying, telling just a white lie, to spare himself the embarrassment. But as he looked back into the eyes of the man, who had made him feel things, he never had before, he came to one conclusion: Honesty and truth would be the only things Sir Nyx Ulric would ever accept. The only thing that could get him one step closer.

“I was trying to find the answer to a question.”

“In a seedy club in downtown?” There was the damn smirk on Nyx’ lips again like he again was knowing something Noctis had difficulty to decipher.

“Probably the only place, to find the correct answer.” He said, not without some bitterness.

“You sure?” Nyx studied him. There was a new glint. “Tell me, my prince, why were you there?”

Noctis swallowed. Honesty. Truth. He held Nyx’ gaze. “I wanted to see if the touch of another man can burn me the same way yours did.” There was a pause.

“And?” The voice was rough. Noctis’ heart beat wildly, nearly leaping out of his chest. This was the last point, he could still return to the safety of his own comfort. Could still deny. End it right before it even began.  
Truth. Honesty.

“No, it did not.” He looked down at his hands, he had clasped them tightly. “Since the day I saw you, the day I noticed you for the first time, everything made me look into your direction. And I can’t stop.”

"What do you want, Noctis?" There was a new seriousness in Nyx’ voice.

"You." Noctis looked directly at him, but Nyx was not giving him an inch. He sighed and turned his head away. He could see Nyx opening his mouth from the corner of his eyes. But he snapped it close again as the door opened, letting Crowe poke her head inside.

"I'm sorry, your highness, but your adviser sent me your schedule, and we need to go now if we want to make it."

Defeated Noctis stood, he looked over to Nyx for another moment, but there was only the same smile present that was always there. The one that did not quite reach his eyes.

"Greetings to the king." Noctis could not tell if it was genuine or mockery.

 

"My son, you seem distracted." Noctis tapped on the table idly, before sliding his gaze over to his father. Regis regarded him with a raised eyebrow.

"I apologize.”

But Regis just waved at him. "What's on your mind?" Noctis was silent, there was only one topic that he ran circles in. Regis put his head on a propped up hand. "I heard you visited an injured Glaive." Noctis only nodded. "What is the connection?"

Noctis sighed, letting his head fall back against the chair. "I was there that night, I needed to make sure he was alright."

"Escaping your sitters again?" Noctis only shrugged. "And how is Sir Ulric?"

Noctis lowered his head again. "He will survive. Oh, he sends his regards," that made Regis chuckle, "and I slept with him."

That got him two raised eyebrows. Regis was watching him, letting his eyes roam over his very being. "I hope not while he was injured," Regis muttered. He furrowed his brows, watching him with those eyes that saw all and more. "Why are you telling _me_ this?” There was a slight emphasis on me.

Why indeed? He had thought about talking to Prompto, to Gladio and even to Ignis. But it didn't feel right. He was sure he could even approach Crowe and face no judgment, but she was close to Nyx, and this may cloud her opinion. Still, he had no answer for his father or his king.

"Maybe we should get something out of the way first. Was this your first time?"

Noctis blushed. "Why do you want to know?" He stuttered.

There was a faint, sad smile on Regis' lips. "Because I feel that after that answer my second question makes more sense."

Noctis shook his head. "No, it was not." He was mortified, but he had started this whole topic with his blunt admission.

"Tell me Noctis, are you in love?" Why, would he - oh. It made sense in a complicated way. Lust and love could easily be confused, especially if he had no experience at all.

And was he?

"No." There was a subtle shift in his father. But it gave no indication if his admission was good or bad.

"I hear you hesitate." Noctis studied the king’s eyes. There was only softness.

He swallowed. Trying to voice these feelings for the first time in the open, where they could not be taken back. "As I saw him yesterday, nearly bleeding out, I felt unable to really process what was going on. Later in the night, I could not sleep, and I was driven by the urge to check that he really was alright." What did this mean? It was obvious if said like that. "While this is not loving, it's at least attraction and friendship." The unspoken ‘yet’ was hovering between them. His father's face was unreadable.

"I'm not sure this is a happy development for various reasons. But I will not discourage you. I only ask of you to enter whatever this may be with your eyes open and very clear on what you want." He paused, gathering his thoughts. "The Glaives are complicated men and woman who have seen and experienced a life very different from yours. This shaped the world they see."

"You say, he might want something different than me."

Regis shrugged. "It might, but I think more in the lines of that this is a completely different world you know nothing about. So be smart about it." Another pause. "Be happy, my son, that is the only thing that I will ever ask of you."

 

* * *

 

The ninth time was the time Nyx saw him.

Noctis did ask his friends in a more vague and roundabout way. Ignis probably made the connections, he had seen Crowe bring him back and getting him again, and he would have read the incident report of that night, as it was his habit. But he gave no further indication besides a raised eyebrow and a lecture on safe sex.

Noctis did not return to the hospital room in the HQ. He had told Nyx what he wanted. Well not quite in so many words, but it was for the man now to decide what to do with the kinda confession.

So he was surprised when he did not saw Libertus at his next training session waiting, but Nyx. In hindsight, he should have known. Libertus had been switched to active duty, and Nyx was the man out.

"Should you be out of bed?"

Nyx was smirking at him in his usual lazy manner. "No, that's why I will sit down, and you will show me what Libertus taught you so far. So I can correct it." A sudden rage rolled through Noctis, making him nearly balling his hands into fists. Jerk, arrogant bastard. He would show him.

He danced. Danced in the wind, felt the steady pulse of the crystal magic pumping through him. He felt himself reaching higher and higher, every round faster than before. Until he missed.

No focus point, his magic at his lowest, he fell, without any control. Desperately he tried to cast, but nothing would answer his call. There was regret. Noctis closed his eyes and waited for the knockout, which never came.

He found himself against warm flesh, pressed deep into the chest of another person, arms wounded tight around him, knocking the breath out of his lungs.

They lay thrown to the side on one of the benches, Nyx’ back taking the force of the impact. It took Noctis a moment to realize that he was saved and that the fast beating heart he could feel under his ear was Nyx’. He scouted back and sat up, steely eyes watching him, with a mix of bemusement and concern.

“What’s gotten into you, little prince?”

Honesty. Truth.

“You. Fucking you! Always you. Only you.” The last was whispered. A hand on his cheek startled him. Nyx was looking at him, his expression painful, but also apologetic.

“I’m sorry, Noctis.”

Noctis looked down at his hands. “No. You don’t have to be. To some degree, I knew what I was getting myself into, that night. On the other hand, I was sorely unprepared.” He smiled sadly at Nyx. “And now, I don’t know what to do.”

Nyx coughed. “How about you bring me back into the hospital wing, and then we figure it out?”

Noctis blinked at him, and then saw the blood on his hands and on Nyx side.

“Fuck.”

 

* * *

 

 The tenth was in the dawn of a morning, and it brought him a smile that warmed him to the depth of his chilled bones. The answering smile made Nyx' eyes shine and sparkle. They still had to figure out a lot of things. They would discover that nightmares and PTSD did not mix well, insecurities and jealousy even less.  
But they found each other again and again.

 

"Are we exclusive?" Noctis was not sure what made him open his big mouth, but the question was out in the open. If he hadn’t been staring at Nyx's broad back so intently he probably would have missed the minuscule stiffening of the shoulder muscles. But the rest of the motions of his lover were the same graceful ones. He turned around and handed over Noctis' coffee mug, his entire face void of emotions besides an air of curiosity.

"What are you thinking about, little prince?" Prince not star, he had somehow rattled the Glaive. He took a mouthful of the coffee, trying to find the words first.

"Am I currently the only one you are seeing?" The sudden relief in Nyx' eyes was unexpected.

"Little star, we may not have a label for what this is, but I was always a one person at a time kind of a guy. So don't worry. You have my full attention." It was followed by a warm smile and inviting arms.

Later, in a sudden burst of clarity, Noctis made the connection. Nyx had thought that Noctis wanted to open the discussion to see someone on the side. The discovery that Nyx did not seem to like that even one bit made him giddy.

 

  
With a groan Noctis woke, he felt like he had run headfirst into a stone pillar. He blinked, as the memory returned, he had. Slowly he turned his head. Ignis sat on the chair beside the bed, reading. For a brief moment Noctis was disappointed, but why would Nyx be here, they still hadn't put any label on what they were doing, hadn't made any promises. At the noise, Ignis looked up and grabbed for his phone. He sent a message before giving Noctis his attention.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I did something stupid." Ignis gave him a look that implied just that. Suddenly heavy footsteps appeared outside. Ignis stood. "The cavalry has arrived."

"What-" But it was broken up as the door flew open and Nyx stood inside. Noctis blinked. As Nyx eyes grazed him, he could see relief in them. The same he had already seen once before.

"I will leave you to it. Sir Ulric, please leave the screaming until tomorrow."

"No promises."

"As you wish," Ignis sighed. "I will update his majesty." Nyx just nodded his eyes never leaving Noctis'.

As soon as the door closed behind the prince's adviser, Nyx walked around the bed and took the chair Ignis had vacated. So close Noctis saw frown lines on his forehead and dark smudges under his eyes. He blinked. Having trouble focusing he let his gaze wander, he saw a Kingsglaive coat haphazardly thrown over a second chair, cups on the small table, an empty cigarette package. Ignis did not smoke and would never leave cups laying around. Nyx had been here, probably the whole night.

"Did you stay here?"

Nyx just shrugged, he was not looking at him anymore but playing with a Zippo lighter. "Needed to make sure you don't run into another pillar." At that, he looked over, and Nyx' eyes were dark and endless. "What were you thinking?"

"I just wanted to try something new. You-"

"Fuck Noctis, I run that shit for nearly 20 years, I know what I'm doing."

"I'm sorry," he said in a small voice.

Nyx still looked at him with those wild eyes. "No, Noctis, sorry will not cut it. You could have been seriously injured, even killed."

The admission shook through him. Noctis wanted to squeeze his eyes shut, wanted to blend out what could happen here, but he kept looking. And then he saw it, the slight tremble in Nyx' hands, the twitch in the corner of the eye, the evidence of him being here all night. He had scared him, Noctis had scared the hero of the Kingsglaives with his overconfidence and resulting accident. He blinked.

"Nyx, I'm truly sorry, I was overconfident.” He tried to shift in his direction on the bed. “Please, I promise I will be more careful in the future and talk to one of you before trying a move that is risky. Please."

Nyx studied him, gauging his sincerity. Slowly his muscles relaxed. "Thank you, little star." He looked like he wanted to say more, but he smiled instead. "So how are you feeling?"

"Like I had a run in with a stone pillar and lost?" Nyx laughed, before scooting closer and taking one of Noctis hands. There was still a light tremble that neither of them acknowledged.

Paper rustling woke him again. It was dark, only a small light illuminating Ignis’ reading face. For a moment Noctis panicked that he had dreamt everything else, but behind Ignis on the couch right under the window, he could see a figure sleeping, the Glaives coat flung over him like a blanket. It created a warm feeling deep inside him. He must have made a sound because Ignis stopped reading.

"Does his majesty know?" Noctis could play dumb, but Nyx constant presence was a dead give away.

"Yes." Ignis returned to his book.

"Go back to sleep, Noctis."

He slept.

 

"I have them here."

"Just tell me Iggy, is it good or bad? Good or bad?" Ignis took his time reading through the reports from the latest excursion to the outside. Another mission for the hero. Other potential risks to get himself killed. There was a pause, and Ignis drew his eyebrows up.

"Ignis?" That gesture made Noctis worry.

"I’m sorry, it's all good. Not even a scratch on the esteemed Sir Ulric. That is a new one. Maybe someone has a good influence on his heroics. Drautos will be pleased." Noctis just sat down, trying to get his wild beating heart under control. Everything was alright, and Nyx was returning safe and sound. That thought made him giddy. Joy filled him suddenly to the brim and the world around took suddenly a warmer tone. He smiled bright and natural.

  
As the key turned in the lock, Noctis just put the finishing touches on everything. The light was low, soothing, the food in the warmer, the bed freshly made, the flat warm to combat the cold from outside and inside. He turned to Nyx, seeing him there standing in the flesh gave Noctis a sudden thrill and relief he didn't know he needed. He could see Nyx eyes roaming wildly, not quite getting what he saw.

"Hi, hero," Noctis said softly not wanting to startle him.

Nyx blinked at him before stepping fully inside and closing the door. "What's going on, little prince." He exhaled. "I'm pretty sure I will not be the best company today."

Noctis shrugged his shoulders. "Nothing much, just to make you feel welcome. I got food, well it is from Ignis, you know I can't really cook, especially not like you can. Gladio got food poisoning the one time I tried to make a stew. I still don't know why." Noctis kept speaking, he was so nervous. He was so glad that Nyx was alright, that nothing had happened. Well, he had known that Nyx was a soldier, but really getting it and knowing was a fast difference. And so he kept talking and talking because he didn't know what to do with himself.

And then everything escalated, Nyx shouting at him to shut the fuck up and the crashing of a door. Noctis brain came to a stuttering stop. Standing suddenly alone in the living room, his thoughts escaping him. He did not... He had just wanted... He sunk onto the couch, into himself, unable to completely process what had happened. His mind drew a blank. He should probably go and leave, waiting until Nyx had calmed down and then like a rational adult discuss what had happened; but inside was the gnawing fear that if he left now, he would not be able to return.

  
Jostling woke him. He was lifted up.

"Uhn, Nyx?"

"Shh, little star, sleep." Came Nyx' soft voice. But Noctis was wide awake. Nyx settled them on the bed, Noctis head laying down on the Glaives chest, Nyx big hand running soothing circles on his back.

"What happened?"

A sign from above and the fractional tightening of the arms around him. "After missions, everything is different for some time. The world is sharp and clear and muted at the same time, and I'm not able to distinguish on what I should concentrate. On the battlefield, it's clear what noise means danger, what movement I need to protect myself from, how to react when the situation calls for it. In the civilians' world, the rules are different." He paused.

Noctis took the opportunity. "I'm sorry."

Nyx chuckled. "No, Noctis, you have no reason to be. We never talked about it before I was deployed. If I'm truthful, this is kind of nice. To not coming home to a dark and cold apartment. Thank you, little star." The tension melted away from Noctis. He could not hold the tears back; hopefully, Nyx would not notice. But a shudder passed through him, and Nyx stopped with his ministrations. Instead, he grabbed Noctis’ face and gently turned it up.

"Why are you crying, my prince?"

"I thought, I thought I had ruined it all." He fucking hated his insecurities. He wanted to look away, but Nyx' gaze captivated him. It was soft and gentle and hopeful. There was laughter in it but the warm kind, that made Noctis all tingly feeling.

"Never fear, Noctis, you will not get rid of me that easily."

God, he looked so soft and so content in that very moment, that Noctis couldn't help himself. "I love you." It felt like an exhale from one heart to another. There was no hesitation as Nyx pulled him higher and closer hugging him tightly, holding him like the most precious thing.

 

The sun was high in the sky, Noctis watched in a trance the shadow play of the tree leaves created but light and wind. So lost in thought he startled as somebody sat down next to him.

"What has he done now?" There was teasing laughter in Crowe’s voice.

Noctis chuckled at that. He shrugged. "Nothing and that is maybe the problem." He could feel her eyes on him. He looked down to the earth unsure on how to formulate his thoughts, without sounding ungrateful and needy. Truth. Honesty. "I told him that I love him, but he kept kind of silent, and I wonder if Galahd is different." He did know what to expect, but the sudden one-armed hug wasn't it.

"Crowe?"

She laughed. "Nothing." He looked over, she there was a thoughtful look on her face, a faint smile on her lips. "Did something change after you said it?" Noctis blinked at her and thought back. It was on the tip of his tongue to say no, but there were little things, a sweet kiss out of nowhere, a soft smile when their eyes met, touching, Nyx was touching before, but now, it was like the fingers never really went away. "We are warriors, but even before our culture is not based on the spoken words but on gestures, gifts, the beads in our hair, the tattoos on our body. We do not speak about what we feel, we show it. Only when we are not able to show it anymore, do we speak."

  
Even in sleep, Nyx was like a shadow. Silent, creeping, staying, following. So when Noctis opened his eyes to the darkness of the ongoing night, he needed a moment to understand what exactly had woken him. It was not his bladder or a loud sound outside. No sudden screaming music from the shitty neighbors, not car honking or a searching hellicarrier. Nothing. The humming from the refrigerator, the wush sound of the cars on the street, that was wavering through the open window, the soft breathing of Nyx beside him. All of it normal, it lulled Noctis back into slumber. On the verge of drifting over, there was it again, that noise, different from all the others. Silent, stealthy. There was a short, panicked moment that someone was coming for him. Assassins, MagiTeks, Monster or Daemons. But nothing moved, no other sound.

Then again.

A whimper, soft and nearly breathless, just a short exhale from the lips. Noctis turned his head and blinked the sleep away. Nyx was on his side, one hand shoved under the pillow, probably clutching one of his daggers, a habit he had learned on the four-year mission away. There was a tense line to the shoulders, the body shifting subtly, another whimper. Noctis reached his hand out and laid it softly on the shoulder of his lover. There was calmness. A soft exhale. Noctis waited for a moment and moved his hand away, a few seconds later the whimper returned. As Noctis put back his hand, Nyx settled down again.

He thought about waking the Glaive, but he knew Nyx would not go back to sleep, and his lover had not slept more than a few hours in the last days. As careful as possible he crept out of the bed and walked to Nyx side, slowly he crawled inside again. He leaned his back against the headrest and let Nyx settle around him. Like a moth to the flame, was Nyx instantly there, pushing his head nearly in his lap, seeking the warmth and familiarity of Noctis’ body. Just a bit of shifting and Nyx calmed down. Noctis carded his hands through his hair, tracing the braids and beads, he yet knew nothing about, settled his hand on the muscled back. There was a sigh, and Nyx slept. Noctis grabbed his phone from the nightstand and settled in his vigil.

Scrolling through the web without any goal he let his mind drift, counting the lights outside the window, the seconds, between Nyx’ inhales, cataloged the different sounds the refrigerator made (some hum, an shhh, a gurgle, a klack klack, and back to the hum).

Being for once the protector gave him a strange feeling. It was warmth, deep in his belly, that he could give back to Nyx, guide him for once, watching over him. But it made him also feel the responsibility of well being besides his own. It scared him. Someday it would not only be Nyx but a whole state, thousands of lives he needed to be aware of, he needed to care for.

He exhaled, forcing his mind back to the man pressed to his side, and whose sleep he was guarding now. That was all that counted. The next morning would bring him one step closer to his duties. But right here, there was still darkness and endless night, and it fell upon him, to keep the Glaive save. He hummed a soft lullaby that seeped into the cracks of the world around them and fortified them against the monsters of their own mind. He smiled as Nyx shuffled closer.

  
Sometimes it was not easy. Noctis unsure what a real relationship between two adults entailed and Nyx unused to share his space, himself with another person. But they learned. They had time. So they thought.

 

* * *

 

 The last time Noctis saw Nyx was not the last time Nyx saw him.

But the reason for that started earlier, in fact exactly one month. Like in every government the media was faster than any official statement made by the crown or council. So it was Nyx who was caught unaware as the News cut through the program with an urgent headline: The betrothal of Prince Noctis Lucis Caelum to Lady Lunafreya Nox Fleuret. It took Nyx precisely the time to read the whole headline before his phone started to vibrate. He did what every entirely sane person would do, he ignored it. Taking this days guard position, he forced everything out of his mind besides his damn job. The phone never stopped until the battery went dead.

When the knock came in the evening after he returned home, he was not surprised, the surprise was the guest. Crowe held up a bottle of whiskey, and they drank the evening away while watching the night unfold. They did not talk. They never needed to.

Still lost in his mind he plucked his phone back in before going to bed. He activated the emergency mode and redefined who could get hold of him. He popped in his earpiece and wrote Crowe to alert him via it if needed. Then he slept. The next day the phone calls stopped. On the third day of the same routine, minus the drinking, he wrote Noctis. "Let us talk."

  
"Thank you for your patience."

Noctis shrugged at him, he appeared so small curled into himself on the couch. His eyes looked tired, the hair disheveled. It was the face of a man who had found little sleep in the last days. "I sought advice. Father told me that you will come when you are ready to talk about it. That you needed room to think." Nyx could see him swallow, the gaze not quite meeting his. “It was not easy to follow.”

Nyx smiled. "A wise man."

Noctis was kneading his fingers. "I'm sorry Nyx, I wanted to talk to you about it that day, but the media beat me to it."

Nyx was silent for a moment. His eyes tracing the people on the streets, hastening through the rain. "What is the verdict?" He fought hard to keep the tremble out of his voice.

There was a sigh from Noctis. It sounded like it was exhaled by an old man, deep and weary. "The monarchy needs to be secured. I need an heir. The usual. But also Tenebrae needs an alliance that secures its position in the world council, hostile forces are tigering along the borders like greedy beasts. Also, the council wants to use the special position the Oracle has to foster Lucis' own standing.  
Nyx turned around and studied him, with a gentle voice he prompted. "There is more."

Noctis looked down at his hands. "I asked father, no, I asked the king for a way out. Short of abolishing monarchy there is none. Transformation, while possible, is currently too risky as the world council is too unstable, with the Nifs being on the verge of civil war following the collapse of the previous monarchy. The subjects of Lucis need strong leadership and even the slightest weakness could have far-reaching consequences." A tremor ran through the small form. Noctis pressed his lips into a thin line.

Nyx walked over and kneeled in front of him. He took Noctis’ hands in his own. They still trembled slightly, the fingers ice cold. Suddenly Noctis grabbed Nyx’ wrists, and his big eyes bore down into his, a fire running wild inside.

"I promise I will find a solution. We still have time"

Nyx smiled at him, it was soft and fragile. "I know. And now come, let's get you warm."

  
The day Noctis saw Nyx last, Nyx kissed him goodbye as always, a promise left in the air that they would meet up later at the Kingsglaive HQ for sparring. They haven't done it in a while, Noctis devoting his time to battle the council's decision.

As the door closed behind the prince, Nyx unlocked his phone and called the number he was itching to call since the day the news broke. The recipient took it before the first ring finished.

"It's time to talk."

"Yes, it is."

  
“Sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to, even if they pain us, thus is the state of a monarchy. As leaders of this country, we have a duty to the people, to the subjects.” Nyx did not look over as the king settled beside him, he kept watching Noctis race around the arena, his laughter spilling out of him, through the cracks of Nyx’ trauma, bounding him for the moment to the real world, far away from his nightmares. His hands trembled slightly, they hadn’t stopped since the morning.

“I’m aware.”

There was a noise, a cross between a snort and a sigh. “That, I know, Sir Ulric, but does the Prince?”

The tremble intensified. He closed his eyes. “He does.” His voice was like a whisper in the wind.

“And he can still laugh like that?” There was a disappointment in Regis’ words. As if he had raised a son so inconsiderate of the feelings of the others. He could not be farther from the truth.

Nyx laughed without any humor. “He knows, but he does not believe, does not want to believe. He thinks I could be his secret, but secrets have a knack for coming out in the open the moment they are least needed. And the fallout from that could be devastating.” Nyx opened his eyes again, unwilling to miss any second longer he could still see Noctis. He wanted to engrave him into his very being, never able to entirely erase him. Even, if with that only pain would reign inside him.

“You could still stay by his side, even if it’s not to be as a paramour.”

“I could, but I’m a jealous man. I live with a weird mix of a sense of duty and running with my emotions. It’s a volatile mix, that gives me the freedom in battle, but would destroy relationships in a civilian world.”

“You will go.” Just a statement breathed in the space between them. Still Nyx nodded and took something out of the pocket of his jacket. He opened his palm, studying it. It was the Black Crown, the favor, once given to him, as a result of an oath.

“I will no longer be able to uphold the promise that has given me this. So I return it to you.” He pressed it into Regis’ open palm.

The king furrowed his brows. “Will you also give up the power that is in your veins?”

Nyx looked down at his hands. “It would be the right thing to do. But I feel it would be also a cowardly one. There might come a time a soldier is needed, and I still want to serve my king, whoever it might be, who will be calling.” His eyes returned to Noctis. Watching his wild dance in the air.

Regis followed his line of sight. “My poor heart and I did ask him to not follow your footsteps.”

“I could never discourage him,” Nyx said with a chuckle.

“Headstrong as his mother was.” There was a melancholic note. A fond memory. “Where will you go?”

Nyx wanted to say home, but it would be a lie. “Galahd.” The king shifted, Nyx felt his eyes on his face, still, he kept on looking. Blue eyes electrified, black hair sweeping in the wind of the warp, the specter of him before the crystal broke and the body reappeared.

“So, home?”

“No.” And it sounded so broken, so lost and lonely, that the king put a hand on his arm and gave him a light squeeze.

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

They kept watching in silence, until Noctis was finished, heaving and smiling wildly as if he could take on anything that the world was throwing at him. And maybe he could. He was the Prince and the heir apparent. It made Nyx smile.

As Noctis came around to where they had been sitting, only Regis remained.

A folded up Kingsglaive coat at his right, on it the favor of the king, Nyx’ promise to guard and protect the heir apparent, Noctis Lucis Caelum, with his life, his soul and his heart. To be his secret shield, his shadow, the one person he could always rely on. And right next to it, lay the ring of a promise, whispered in the depth of a night, that seemed to be endless at that time and full of possibilities.

Noctis’ smile fell away, with trembling fingers stroke he along the rough fabric of the coat, tracing with the tips the stitches and lapels, he had felt so often under his hands. They traced the shape of the emblem, the king's favor, and the ring.

“I wanted to believe,” he whispered.

“He wanted to as well.” Noctis had never heard his father speak so softly. Maybe after the death of his mother. He bowed down, sunk to the knees and buried his face in the lap of his father. The king carded his fingers through his hair when the sobs started, humming a melody with no known tune. There in the safety of his most loyal subjects, Noctis let go.

Weeping for promises that could not be kept, a duty he had never wanted but accepted, and a dream that would forever remain one.

 

* * *

  

When Nyx was eighteen he saved the life of a small boy, not older than six. Took him straight out of a burning building. The boy had blinked at him with his bright blue eyes, being in stark contrast to the soot-covered face. The moment he handed the crying and frightened child over, he knew he had just saved the heir of the monarchy. It earned him deep burn scars and the Black Crown.

  

* * *

 

 The day Nyx fell in love, was the day the prince turned nineteen. It was not precisely on that day, but it was the moment, he knew. Sworn to be the silent shadow, the hood always drawn the mask in place, he caught himself more than once, that he wanted to take the blue-eyed devil into his arms and never let go.

The day after the prince’s birthday he nearly did it. The next day, he bowed before his king.

“Sir Ulric, why did you request this audience?” There was astonishment in Regis’ voice. He heard much about the Glaive, who danced on the battlefield like no other.

“Because I want to be unbound from my vow.” Regis could not read him, the head still bowed.

“If you really desire it, it can be granted, but I wish to know why.”

“Because I have fallen in love with your son.”

There was a sudden silence in the space between them. Surprised, intrigued, hesitant. "I will not insult you in asking if you are sure. But why makes this reconsider your oaths?" Nyx swallowed. "And please stand, this is a matter where I'd like to see the eyes of my opposite." Nyx stood falling easily into the parade rest. "I don't imagine this revelation will make you protect my son less. I would even go so far and conclude, it will make the Hero of the Glaives even more reckless. So, Sir Ulric, what is it?"

"He is so young."

Regis could read everything in those few words. He saw apprehension and worry in his eyes, coupled with fear and longing. Sir Ulric was a man, not a schoolboy, and while Regis knew the Glaive was probably the most honorable person in all of Insomnia it still would pose an unnecessary threat, a distraction, a temptation. Noctis if inclined needed to come to the Glaive on his own.

"While I can't and even don't want to grant you your wish, I also hear you and what you are trying to say." He could see the shoulders of the Glaive working. "I have a matter that I have discussed with Captain Drautos. A mission I'm in search of volunteers for. It will take two to three years to complete or longer." A jaw muscle tightened. "Don't get me wrong, this mission is dangerous and very important. There is a good chance that Captain Drautos would probably recommend you to take it."

"What is it about?" So he can talk, Regis thought.

"We have Intel about an increased movement of rebels as well as daemons and other factions along the borders. We will dispatch four teams who will assess the situation, take necessary actions and also monitor. You will be constantly reporting back, but also be free enough to act independently as needed. Your Captain and Cor have more details." He made a pause again, to let the details sink in. "Will this be to your satisfaction?" Nyx bowed, the fist above his heart.

"Yes, I'm honored that you consider my request so honestly."

Regis got up and stepped down to lay a hand on Nyx' shoulder. With a startle, the Glaive looked up. "No, Sir Ulric, I'm honored that you found Noctis worthy of your love." Nyx' eyes went wide, and Regis chuckled. "I do learn about the customs and traditions of other cultures. Expressing your love for someone is for an Galahdeenian no easy feast. So I’m honored."

Nyx could only bow his head.


	2. Nyx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here goes the second part. It's just half the length as the first chapter, but there was no better breaking point. I thank you very much for the kudos and comments, they really made my day. I hope you enjoy the second part, and thanks for reading! Still very grateful for [cryptidkickflip](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cryptidkickflip) for the beta.

The day the wedding was held and the subsequent coronation, Nyx was three days away from opening the bar he had always dreamed about of opening. He missed the day, lost in his work. In the evening when he turned on the news and saw the headlines, he turned it right off and went to bed. He knew Luna, had met her before she was a sweet and gentle woman, headstrong. He did not want to think ill of her. He raised a glass to them and fell into a dreamless sleep.

  

* * *

 

 The day the pregnancy was announced, he was out fishing. He did not bother to turn on the news in the evening, everybody was telling him about it as he returned ashore. He stopped listening after the first time.

 

* * *

  
The day, the heir was born, a princess, he closed the bar and drunk himself into a stupor. He was woken by Libertus and Crowe, who sat through him crying and ranting and wishing and begging. Who held him close, to anchor him back onto the earth. After that, it got easier to live with the pain and the nightmares and the cold side of his bed.

 

* * *

 

The night Regis died, he sat outside, toasting the ghost of a man who had guided him. The following day he closed up his bar for a week and followed the call for the funeral back to Insomnia.

 

* * *

 

The day he saw Noctis again, it rained.

 

Sitting at the steps, letting the rain beat around him, Nyx bowed before the tomb of the late king. Down to one knee, the fist above the heart did he gave him the honor he could not directly express at the funeral. He tried to find words, to explain, to apologize, to thank him, but there was only a choked sound and the steady rhythm of the raindrops.

Crowe found him like. “The queen is asking for you.” He nodded and stood. After another bow, he followed her. She threw him a look, that clearly said ‘Idiot.’ She sighed. “Let’s get you dry first.”

The rain kept falling.

 

Setting foot into the citadel again felt like being a stranger in a strange land and coming home at the same time. Nothing was different, as if the years never went by. Truth, three years don’t amount too much in the end. And still, something should be different. Otherwise, it left him with a wired feeling as if he had stepped outside just yesterday and was not returning for another round of guard duty.

 

Crowe took him up to the private rooms of their Majesties. At the doors, she just ushered him inside, while taking guard post. The klick of the lock as the door closed, sounded a strange sort of final.

Queen Lunafreya Nox Fleuret was a beautiful woman. Her blue eyes and long blond hair made her seem ephemeral, like a specter from a world far away. Nyx raised his fist to the heart and bowed. There was laughter, like a whisper.

“My Queen?” Nyx was confused, had he done something wrong?

But the Queen shook her head. “I apologize, Sir Ulric. Just something on my mind. And please call me Luna.”

“As you wish.” He paused. “The title does not belong anymore to me, so please call me Nyx.”

He could see her watching him. Like she was searching for something. Instead, she turned to him fully and now Nyx saw the little body in her arms, the princess was sleeping. A carbon copy of her mother.

“We have much to talk about.”

 

* * *

 

 

“But, your girl?” Nyx was looking at Luna bewildered he still tried to find out where this summon was going. His queen had spoken above love and friendship and how she and the king had not that kind of relationship.

Luna smiled sadly while shifting the little one around. “He could not do it. The night he felt ready for it, he cried, cried like he was betraying a lover. We tried again and again, but he could not do it. We choose another way.” She traced a hairlock out of the sleeping face. “He felt guilty about it. He allowed me to take a consort, nearly begged me to take one. I declined.”

Nyx studied her. “Why?”

Luna shrugged, just a delicate lift of her shoulders. “No one had caught my eye, and I was content.”

“You were?” He asked with a lifted eyebrow.

Her smile was nearly a smirk, a tiny lift of the right end of her lips. “Things do change on occasion.”

Nyx chuckled. “Why are you telling me all this?” She hummed for a moment, settling the girl back into sleep, swaying slightly.

“Noctis never told me the name of the person who held his heart and his very soul, but the king did. Before the marriage, he requested a private audience, _he_ , the king.” She smiled fondly. “He told me, what to expect. Noctis had already spoken to me about not being sure that there will be love, the romantic kind, as he still loved another person.” She swayed in circles around him. Her eyes straying between the child on her hip, the room, and Nyx, never quite resting on something. “But the king said your name, spoke about your history and spoke about your love.” Nyx swallowed and looked away. A soft touch at his cheek made him turn back. Luna’s smile was understanding and so unbelievingly soft. “I admit I was envious. But I saw how it had broken Noctis and to some degree the king.” She looked at the girl again. “I hope I will never see my child in this kind of pain and not be able to help.”

Nyx was still unsure where this was going. “What do you want to say, my queen?”

“I will go away.”

“But the monarchy does not have a divorce.” He knew he had looked. In a desperate night, Noctis already on speed dial, ready to beg, ready to take any punishment Noctis was willing to bestow onto him if he just took him back. He had searched the constitutional documents for a loophole, a way out. But as the first ray of the sun broke through the darkness, through the fever dream of a night, he had found none. “It may also deem the ruler unfit for the throne.”

Luna kissed the hair crown of her child. The tiny eyes slowly blinking open. Nyx took a startled breath, she had Noctis eyes. Blue and clear as the sky. She blinked at him, slowly. Like small kids did. With laughter, Luna put the little one in Nyx’ lap. Who caught her in his big hands, unsure on what to do. Luna just patted his shoulders and moved to the windows. Nyx kept his eyes on the fragile live in his hands, who was watching him, focused, unblinking.

“I’m still the Oracle. And while I could stay here and be content, I must return to my duties. So the council granted me a special kind of leave, releasing me from my vows.” His eyes snapped to her. He stood cradling the little one in his arm. With bemusement, he felt her playing with one of his braids. He came to stand beside Luna, watching the bustling streets of Insomnia.

“What does that mean?”

She exhaled forcefully. “Really, Ulric, I never thought you were this dense.”

With a careful shoulder shrug, he looked at her. “I’m not, but… time has gone by. Feelings can change. Even with you gone, it does not mean he will take me back. I broke both our hearts.”

Luna raised a hand to card them through the curls of her daughter. “I do understand that, but tell me, hero, what does your heart say?”

The name brought back so many emotions, that he nearly choked. “I-”

The sound of an opening door stopped him. The voice stopped him. “Luna-” Nyx turned slowly. It was a shock. They had seen each other at the funeral, two days ago. They had stood in the rain and nodded at each other, but there had been no time, to talk to or even exchange a greeting. They had passed each other like ships in the night. Silent. Noctis was looking at him with wide blown eyes. His gaze traced his face, wandered from there to the child on his arm. He made a strangled sound.

“Yes, Noctis?” Luna’s voice broke the spell on them. Nyx could see how Noctis rapidly blinked, getting his focus back in order.

“Ignis is asking for you.”

Luna moved and took her daughter from Nyx. “I will go to him now.”

“As you wish, my queen.” With a chuckle, Luna went, closing the door behind Noctis.

 

For a moment, only their breathing could be heard in the stillness of the room.

“Sir Ulric, I thank you that you honor the legacy of my father, the late King Regis.”

Well, there he had his answer, hadn’t he?

Nyx bowed his head, and bend his knee, the fist across his heart. “Your father saved and guided me. It is the least I could do, your majesty.”

He could hear Noctis drawing his breath in. “You are not one of my Glaives anymore.”

“But you are still my king.” There was a shuffle. Nyx kept his eyes on the carpet.

Noctis voice was rough and strained, “Please, rise.”

Nyx stood, Noctis had changed his position and wandered over to one of the couches, his hands nearly tearing the soft material apart. His whole body was bowed, wound up tight.

“I should go.”

“Running away.” Again? The accusation fell between them, without voicing it.

“There had been no other choice.”

“And you made it for both of us.” Came the hot reply. Noctis eyes looked like storm clouds, no, like the high waves on the stormy sea. A moment later, he closed them, and his shoulders slumped. “No, I could have gone after you, and I didn’t. We both made the same decision in the end.” Another silence. “When will you return?”

“In four days.”

“I see.” But Noctis was not looking at him. His head was slightly angled away, tracing something in the outside world. Nyx hurt. It was so stilted, so cold, not them, but that might be the only truth here.

There was no _them_ anymore.

It had died.

 

* * *

 

The call came late at night. Not that Nyx had been sleeping. Sitting on the balcony of his hotel room and letting the cigarette burn in his hands, without even taking a drag. It brought him back to another night, so many years ago that it was nearly funny.

 “They have taken her.” Noctis’ voice was distraught, on the verge of panic. Nyx could hear sounds in the background, talking fast and loud. The Kingsglaive, the Crownsguard, probably Luna herself. Nobody took the princess without some serious repercussions. They would probably have it in hand, would track the kidnappers down and bring her back. But Noctis had called him, _him_.

“Understood.” He closed the call. He could picture his king, pressing his face against the phone in hope. Waiting, hoping. He took a moment to inhale and exhale. He knew what he had to do. There was only one way. He had never done it before, never needed, he just knew that he was able to. It was not taught, just spoken about. Nearly a secret, but no taboo.

He put out the rest of the cigarette and sat down. Crossing his legs, he fell right into the center of his mind.

Meditation had kept him sane for the last couple of years. Allowing him to let all the things he had wanted to forget rest. To let them just float away every time his thoughts strayed to them. Now he needed that connection back, that feeling, the all-consuming love he still held so very deep in his heart. Deeper and deeper he sunk into his mind until he found the magic of the crystal pulsating, alongside his own heartbeat. He was inside and outside at the same time. The night air cool on his skin, the sound of the sleepless city, the flow of his own blood, the breath of air in his lungs.

The hardest part was visualizing, finding back to what he had tried to lay to rest. He closed his mind eyes and searched for something, a symbol that held it all together, like a lynchpin. A weight settled in his mind’s hand. When he looked at it, he nearly snorted. The Black Crown was an apt symbol for everything that had happened.

Nyx sighed. There was no turning back. He could feel the magic grabbing for it, anchoring the memory into himself and making the connecting to what he was searching for. He remembered the big blue eyes, the same as Noctis. That searching gaze,  Noctis. He remembered all their moments, all that they had been to each other and the crystal answered.

 

Nyx followed the call.

 

Warping through the streets and canyons of Insomnia, he felt free again. He had nearly forgotten how it had been. The pulse pounded steadily in his veins, his soul sung. This was what he had lived for all those years ago. Being a crystal blue wind, a dancer in the night. It made him nearly forget why he was doing it and made him question his decision three years ago. But this was not the moment for regrets, the life of a little girl was on the line, and not any girl, _Noctis’_ daughter.

The thread of magic pulled and pulled. Further and further through the endless city and the shimmering lights. Insomnia was still as beautiful and seductive as he remembered her. Maybe he could make some visits in the future.

At the edge of the town, he slowed down. He could not pinpoint the exact location, there was just a vague feeling that he came closer. On lower building, he came to a stop and tried to assess the situation. The part seemed abandoned, one of the old industrial complexes that clustered at the outer parts of Insomnia.

There were a few office buildings, dark and dirty and some lower storage facilities alongside them. He would have to search them one after the other. If the kidnapper were even remotely intelligent, they would go for the higher buildings to have a better view of their soundings. Well, there goes nothing.

 

He warped onto the roof of one of the office buildings and started to drop slowly down. Row after row. Five stories down, he heard the cry of a child, followed by harsh words, in a language he could not quite decipher. Slightly out of breath already, he layawayed around the building. His muscles started to protest, well, he did abandon his training somewhat. He knew he could still push on, but his reserves were depleting fast.

A missing window provided him with an opportunity. As silent as possible, he slipped in. Slowly creeping between broken furniture and garbage, he followed the cry and the voices. He found the girl first. Slipping through a dark door, along a small hallway, his eyes meet her gaze from the other side of the dimly light room. She blinked, once, twice. An understanding passed, Nyx could see a tiny nod before she started crying again. Smart girl, he thought. The kidnappers were distracted, and Nyx laid into them.

 

He took more blows then he had anticipated, and still they were no match for him at the end. After he had made sure they could not get up anymore, Nyx kneeled before the princess, offering his hand to help her up after he cut the restraints.

“Ready to go home, little princess?” She nodded. Out in the night air, he slowed down, the fight finally catching up to him. He suppressed the tremble of his fingers,  as he fished his phone out of the jacket to check the reception. It was just his luck, out of reach. He would have a word with the king about that. He chuckled.

“You are hurt.”

Nyx looked down at the girl, who was watching him with her huge blue eyes. “What makes you say that?”

“Your voice, how you look, and you are favoring one side.” Her voice was very matter of fact. All traces of crying gone from it.

He chuckled, it turned into a slight cough. “You are very observant.”

“Papa says I got that from Mama. Mama says I got it from Crowe.”

He raised an eyebrow at that. “You like Crowe?”

She nodded in earnest, her curls flying in every direction. “Yes, she never tells me I can’t do this or do that because I’m a girl.”

“Yeah, Crowe never liked to be told no.” He said with a tight smile. Fighting to stay upright. His side hurt like hell, he was not sure how the injury had happened. Well, it also did not matter.

He re-checked his phone and dialed the number. “She is alright.”

“Where are you?” Came the breathless reply. Silence where chaos had been before. “Is that Nyx,” came the question from somewhere in the background.

“Well, little king, you remember the club?” Black dots started to dance before Nyx’ eyes. Everything started to happen as if it was in slow motion.

“Yes.” There was noise in the background again, shouts and commands.

“Right there.” His vision finally swam out of focus, unable to control the tremble anymore the phone clattered to the ground, his knees and body followed. It hurt like a bitch.

“Nyx?” Came a faint voice.

He blinked, why was he here? He looked at the girl at his side, holding the phone between her tiny fingers, huge distraught eyes shining brightly. She was talking, Nyx could see her lips moving, her eyes never leaving his, blue, so blue. He only heard white noise. Oh-

 

Nothing.

 

* * *

 

He blinked awake. Pain laced up his side in the same instant. Making him remembering the night bit by bit. His eyes roamed around and found Noctis in the window seat, watching rain splatter against the glass. He blinked, it was the wrong memory, it was long gone, not the same. The picture rearranged itself, the Noctis from then became the Noctis from now. Older, rougher, with deeper shadows under his eyes.

 

The rain stayed.

 

“The princess?” He croaked.

Noctis turned his head, watching him for a moment. “Safe. Healthy. A bit shaken.”

The door opened. Nyx turned his head and saw Crowe slipping in, taking a position at the wall next to it. “Still playing the hero?” She said with a bemused smile.

“You know me.” He watched her carefully and saw the glint in her eyes. Would she-

“Hey Nyx, how did you know where to look?” He inhaled, she would. “We lost their trace pretty early on, so, what gave them away?” There was a hardness in her eyes. He exhaled. Was she really implying, what he thought she did? Inhale. No, she knew him better than this. She knew. Exhale. The door opened anew. A doctor bustled in. Nyx did not remember ever seeing him. The doctor ignored the tension in the room and went straight to business.

Nyx blinked slowly, letting himself be probed and poked. He gave no indication, that something was amiss with the method he had used. Maybe he could tell a lie, a distraction to diverge her from the track of mind. But Noctis must have picked up on something. An undertone, a tilt of the voice. He was suddenly watching Nyx with narrowed eyes. Grabbing on that something.

“How did you find her?” Noctis voice was steady, but Nyx kept silent. Watching the rain battering against the window, the drops slowly gliding down, creating rivers that were gone an instant later, while the still doctor checked him over. “Nyx?” Suddenly the doctor was gone and blue eyes were right in front of him. Blazing with an inner fire, tamed, sure, commanding. When had Noctis become so confident? “Tell me, _how did you find her_?”

And Nyx? He admitted defeat right there and then. He was tired, he was so fucking tired of everything. Tired of running, of feeling, of _caring_. The bond claiming had scratched the crust away, and the wound was wide open again. The magic making it impossible to shove it back again to the far reaches of his mind.

He slumped back into the cushions, focusing on the face before him, that was different, but so much the very same. The face of the man he still so very deeply loved. “The bond,” he croaked, “I used the bond.” There was a sharp double intake of breath.

“But… the crystal only-” He could see Noctis swallow, his eyes blinking rapidly, unable to process what Nyx had said. Crowe tapped her foot against the flooring, making Nyx look over. Her eyes narrowed, the arms still crossed. She waited until the doctor had finished and was gone again.

“The crystal only allows tracking if the tracked is considered family by the king’s magic wielder. Only the king himself can not do it, as he is regarding every subject part of his family.” Her voice was lacking any emotion, reciting facts. Nyx just looked on and shrugged. “Only deep feelings are able to really establish the bond.”

“But you gave back the ring.”, Noctis’ voice cut in. “You freaking gave back the ring!” he shouted. “You, just… must have...” Crowe’s eyes went wide, looking from Nyx to Noctis and back.

Nyx furrowed his brows, it sounded as if... “Is that what you thought all the time, that I... Oh, Noctis, I never needed a token to consider you my everything.” Noctis’ only answer was a sound like a sob.

A knock rang in the sudden silence between them before the door was pushed open and Ignis stood there taking in the scene. “I’m sorry to interrupt, your majesty, but the princess is asking for you.” A nod at Ignis. Noctis graced Nyx with an unreadable look before he followed his adviser out the door.

 

As soon as the steps could not be heard anymore, shook Crowe her head, and starred Nyx down. “You are a fucking idiot, Ulric.”

He offered her a weak smile. “I know.”

She stepped forward and laid a hand on the side of his face. “I thought you had gotten over it. I thought all that was left, was just a fond bittersweet memory of another time.”

He shook his head, his smile turned apologetic. “I wanted you both to believe it.”

“Why?” She furrowed her brow, wanting to understand.

He shrugged. “Because then I might believe it myself.”

 

When Nyx woke the next time, there was a weight at his side, pressing him down into the mattress. It disoriented him a moment. Past and present had collided so thoroughly in the last days, that he had no idea anymore, where he was. He cracked his eyes open a fraction and found himself face to face with a wild mop of blond curls. The princess lay on his chest and slept. Her tiny fists buried in his shirt. Turning his head he found Noctis sitting in a chair, watching them, a data pad abandoned at his side.

“She wanted to make sure that the knight who saved her is alright.”

Nyx smiled at the mop. “I feared, that I had scared her. I was not… gentle with the kidnappers.”

“Good.”

There was another stillness between them.

“Nyx-” A twist in his shirt, and blue eyes blinked up at him. The hand slowly crept higher patting his cheek and then his braids.

“Are you a girl?” There was a snort from Noctis’ direction.

Nyx chuckled. “No, little princess, this is a tradition in my native land. Every braid has a meaning.” She furrowed her brows, tracing the braids with that earnest gaze only little children are capable of.

“Every braid?” She cooked her head to the side as if she was unsure if he was being honest.

Nyx hummed as an answer. “Ask me about them, little one.”

She nodded before tiny fingers carefully held up the ends of the braids, one at a time.

Nyx knew them all by heart. "This shows that I'm a warrior. The beads tell people where and for whom I have fought." The blue and green one stood for Galahd, the black was for the Kingsglaive, and white for the King of Lucis.

Another followed wooden beads with carved lines into them. "That tells about my family, the history of the Ulrics." Important ancestors, his parents, his sister. His tribe.

Braids for luck and strength, accomplishments, his own history, his standing. The princess took it in, scrunching her brows critically. Her fingers wandered to the other side. Holding up a new braid. A braid with frayed ends.

“This one is broken.” Nyx looked at it, the simple wooden bead that had been there once was gone, the braid already half open. It was a special braid, standing for a promise, he had given in the dead of a night, one he was reluctant to break. Still hoping, still dreaming, he re-wove it every morning. And now it was broken. It stood suddenly for so many other things. Maybe he really should see it as a sign, perhaps everything even had been a sign.

A sign for him that his place here was gone. That all that was left was indeed but a fond bittersweet memory. And he was the only one, who had not seen it. He registered that he was crying when little hands patted his cheeks, and distraught blue eyes became watery as well.

Nyx tried to reassure her. “No, don’t cry, little princess, you did nothing wrong. Don’t cry.”

“Papa?” She sounded so confused. Noctis rose.

“It’s alright, Diana, it’s not your fault.” He got up and walked to the door, and after a short conversation, Crowe swept in, taking the still teary Diana.

“Come, pumpkin, we will find something to cheer up your knight, would you like that?” Diana nodded. Crowe gave him a fond look and closed the door so very gentle. Nyx curled into himself, ignoring the sting from the wound, releasing heavy sobs. A sudden memory flitted through his brain.

 

_“Prince Noctis is not one of your typical random lovers.”_

_“Afraid I will break his heart?” He said it with an unpleasant smirk while taking another sip from his glass._

_Crowe was silent for a moment, her finger tapping on the bar. Her gaze was steady on him, not rising to the bait. “No, I fear he will break yours.”_

 

Crowe had been wrong. Noctis had not broken his heart, but he had splintered it himself into so many pieces, he was unable to put it back together.

 

Noctis suddenly kneeled beside him, running his hands over his cheek, through the hair. “What is it Nyx? Please, talk to me.” In between taking deep breaths and hiccups and more tears, he told him. That even with every physical reminder gone, the braid carried over, a promise once given, a love he had bound himself to, and he was unable to let go.

Pressing his eyes tight together and clutching Noctis’ hand to his chest, amid rough coughs and the stinging pain of the wound, he could only hold up one mantra. “I love you, I love you, I love you.” A lullaby that eventually pulled him back to an exhausted sleep.

When he woke again, he was alone.

As he blinked in the greyness of yet another rainy day or was it still the same, he felt empty, everything had flown right out of him, pooling at the feet of the one person he had hoped and dreaded to ever meet again, and now he was alone.

He had his answer then. But was Noctis really that cruel? Nyx did not want to believe it, but with no token or sign left lying around, he had no choice but to accept the truth.

Well, then there was nothing left for him here. With some difficulty, he rose and climbed out of the bed. On unsteady legs he slowly crept through the room, on a chair he found some clothes. He chuckled, as he recognized his training clothes, left behind when he had gone. With grunts of pain and some dimming of his vision, he fought himself into the sweat pants. Before shuffling into the tiny adjacent bathroom, to try to freshen up. He contemplated the chances of slipping away quietly, with nobody being the wiser. He guessed he would probably get five steps away before Crowe descended unto him.

 

His legs trembled. So fucking weak. Maybe he would join the patrols when he got back, start his training back up again. Bracing his hands on the sink, he fought to keep himself on foot. Raising his head, his eyes found their mirror image. Hell greeted him. The same, but older, with deeper lines and darker shadows, a few more scratches. He shook his head, trying to clear the last cobwebs away. A few of his braids fell to the front, automatically he raised his hand to sweep them back when his eyes caught something surprising. He felt for the once broken braid. His breath caught as he saw the new bead and recognized the sign on it.

“Nyx?” A voice cut through his wild running thoughts.

Nyx turned so fast that he nearly lost his balance, catching himself just so, leaning heavily against the sink. “Bathroom,” he croaked.

“Nyx-” Noctis stopped at what he saw. “What-”

Nyx had still the braid in the hand. “I woke alone. I thought… and then… the braid… the sign…” He squeezed his eyes shut, balling his hands into a fist, on the verge of just ripping the braid out of his head. “Please, tell me. If you don’t know what this means, I beg you, please tell me now. Don’t give me hope, when there is none.” He felt bile rise, his lungs slowly constricting the air flow. He would not cry again. Would not break down again. He would take the truth with pride. With respect.

There was a gentle touch on his shoulder.

“Nyx, look at me.” He tried, he really tried, but everything had been stripped away, and the only thing that remained in the deep abyss of his mind was fear. “Hey, hero, come on.” A surprising strong grip on his chin, forcing his head around. Nyx eyes flew involuntarily open. Noctis was smiling, it crinkled his eyes. “Crowe helped me to get it right. She spoke about the double meaning. Woven alone, it’s a promise to your beloved.” His hand left the chin and plucked the braid out of Nyx’ loosened fist. His voice was gentle, soft. Like summer rain. “Woven by the beloved it is a promise to you.” Noctis traced with his fingertips the golden emblem of Insomnia that was etched into the bead interwoven with the sign of Lucis.

Nyx blinked at him. His heart pounding impossible fast and loud. “Be sure, my king, be very sure.”

Noctis held his gaze, as he laid his other hand on Nyx’ cheek.

 

“I’m sure.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guessed right, kudos and comments are always welcome!

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos are welcome. Tell me if you enjoyed the read!


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